20 April 2007

Avoiding Being A Numpty. Or How To State The Bleeding Obvious.

I've been driving to and from work in Cambridgeshire and home in Norfolk for just under two weeks now. It's a route of many roundabouts and plentiful fields, the towns on the way are either bypassed or just skirted through so it should be a fairly quick route except for....

Tractors, lorries, caravans, coaches and buses. Now I don't mind those too much, well all except caravans they ARE the spawn of Beelzebub as we know, they all have restrictions on the speed that they can go on the open road. So they are not numpties well the caravan haulers probably are but they don't have the chance to be one with a caravan behind them.

No, the numpties are them others, the idiots who drive too fast and cut you up, who over take with lorries thundering towards them so that get a chill sweat and start to ready yourself for an emergency stop when the accident happens. Then there are the gibbers who seem to think that it's perfectly acceptable to bimble along at 45 miles per hour when the speed limit is 60 but speed up to go through towns at 50 miles per hour when the signs are saying 30. They really shouldn't be allowed out. They take the racing line when they could be outpaced by an asthmatic moped and worry me considerably, swing out wildly when a pedestrian is walking along the pavement and never ever use their indicators at any time during the journey.

I've also noticed as I wend my way back and forth that along each stretch of road there will be at least one numpty, the trick is to ensure that a) I'm far enough away from them and b) that I'm not the numpty.


  1. Numpty? Bimble? Caravan?

    I have a feeling that I am going to need an english to english dictionary if I ever get across the pond.

    Here we call them "assholes", "diddle dickers" and "rigs".

  2. Yes, there's a lot of "numpties" in and around Lynn. I hope you were pre-warned of this.

  3. Welcome to the wonderful world of commuting between Cambridgeshire and Norfolk. Watch out for the Vauxhall Astra drivers, they are the worst.

  4. Numpty, originating in Scotland, seems to have spread as far south as Cambridgeshire. With the help of the Internet, I'm confident it'll storm America soon.

    That post reminds me of why I'm so glad I use public transport to get to work. Means I can have a few pints en route after a hard day, too.

  5. Iggy - That's the beauty of language :D

    Steg - actually I was only told about the beauties of Lynn, surprising that.

    Boolbar - I've got my doubts about Saxo drivers too.

    Garry - It would take me 3 1/2 hours each way to get to work by public transport now, what I need to do is to get a job closer to home.

    I think in part Numpty reached Cambridgeshire via me: I used to live in Scotland when I was wee.

  6. I think you'll find, Jane, that I'm the only sensible driver on the road! Everyone else is far too dangerous and should stay at home. Like you say, they either drive too fast and rely on the people they annoy to drive better than them and keep them alive, or they have no idea where they are or whether forty five is an appropriate speed.

  7. Phew, I thought was just me that had noticed.

    I think the A47 between Yarmouth and Acle (The Acle Straight) has the highest numpty-per-mile ration in Norfolk!

  8. people not using the indicator when they're driving is my biggest bugbear, all i want to know is where you're going, then i'm less likely to ram into you in a fit of road rage at your foolish disregard for other drivers, is that too much to ask? ......i don't drive so much nowadays of course but even so :)