09 August 2008

Possibly the worst remake ever

We've just sat through the Bruce Willis version of The Jackal. What a pile of steaming crock it was shite from beginning to end. Completely untense and unthrilling just a big weapons fantasy. The original with Edward Fox was tense, exciting, thrilling - almost everything that the modern one isn't. I hear that the remake of Pyscho is bad too but I've not seen that.

So at the risk of getting no comments whatsoever what's the worst remake you've seen.


  1. Barbed Wire. Whilst I can't bring myself to grace it with the dubious accolade of a remake, I have to describe it as a re-imagining of Casablanca - but with Pamela Anderson playing Humphrey Bogart's role.
    Don't go there. Just don't go there!

  2. The Italian job? But that's not so much a remake as a rip off.

    I'm having difficulty of thinking of any others actually...maybe they were so bad I've blanked them from my mind.

    The best remake I've seen is easier...Thomas Crown Affair, love the remake, not so keen on the original.

  3. I tend to avoid films I think might suck, so the worst remakes I have seen have been "Planet of the Apes" and "Willy Wonka".

    Hmmm. I see a theme here. I thought these might be awful, but I was blinded by the Burton/Depp/Bonham-Carter and watched anyway.

  4. The Jackal is a tough one to top for crap remakes. Hmmm......Willy Wonka has already been mentioned....how about "Alfie"? So crap I only watched 20 minutes of it and then went to clean the bathroom.

  5. Texas Chainsaw Massacre. That was bad.

  6. Zosimus the Heathen10 August, 2008

    I've not seen the original but I'd have to say the remake of The Omen was pretty crap. Actually, that's a problem with watching the shit remake before the original - it tends to put you off watching the (possibly far superior) original.

  7. 2 words from me "Get Carter"...

  8. I agree that both the jackal and italian job remakes were both rubbish.
    The italian job on principal as not only was it not in italy but used those bmw monstrosities that pose as Minis.
    (you might have guessed I like the original Mini, I have owned 2 so I suppose I am somewhat biased. :o) ).

    How about the many remakes of the King Arthur legends. :o0

  9. I'll go with Billy and say Texas Chainsaw Massacre - a lousy remake of perhaps the greatest horror film ever. Art director's fingerprints evident in every shot, and the end result another glossy "modern-gothic" cipher in the style of "Seven". (Rant over.) I didn't find the remake of Psycho so bad; though it struck me as pretty pointless, considxering it was a shot-for-shot remake...

  10. I'd forgotten about the Italian Job. As a remake it was bloody awful. But what bugged me most was that it was moderately passable as a generic crime caper.

    It might have been better received if it gone it alone and treated the minis as a homage in an unrelated film.

  11. Im going to mention Alfie & the Avengers both truely aweful. The lady killers , why did they even think they could improve on Ealing ?

    Still it works both ways. The remake of Evil dead wa pretty good (although rumour says they are remaking it yet again)

    I loved the remake of the Little shop of horrors .

    So sometimes they do get it right :O)

  12. Those are all good suggestions. Although I haven't seen most of them, I have heard tales of their awfulness. The sad thing is, sometimes there are some excellent remakes - Scarface comes to mind. High Society from the Philidephia Story. But most of them are mediocre at best. "You've Got Mail" comes to mind.

  13. Zosimus the Heathen13 August, 2008

    Re Lara's mentioning of The Avengers: I actually didn't mind that one. While its plot was pretty incoherent (I couldn't understand the whole good Emma Peel/evil Emma Peel thing, for example), the set design was gorgeous, and the movie contained many delightfully trippy moments. After all, how can you hate a film that features remote-controlled killer robot wasps, and a bunch of evil scientists who dress in brightly-coloured teddy bear costumes to preserve their anonymity ("Quite easily," I hear you reply)? In addition, it was my introduction to Eddie Izzard, so I'm grateful to it for that as well.