Pirates of the Caribbean

We had a very nice Easter, thank you very much, Easter Lunch at my Mum's and a picnic in a windswept field on Easter Monday because we could.

I also got to watch the whole of Pirates of the Caribbean, a film that several of my friends and colleagues have quietly raved about since it came out in 2003.

I think they may have over-rated it, I was left distinctly unmoved. For one thing it was far too long, too many lengthy fight scenes and despite the best efforts of Johnny Depp and Co. it didn't sparkle.

Things niggled - using a bedwarmer and having a bedroom fire in the Caribbean - nonsense. We Brits are notoriously bad at Dealing With Heat™ . Also how could someone as thin as Keira Knightley haul dozens of heavy rum barrels from their underground hiding place within the time it takes for a drunken pirate to sleep it off and set them alight without any help? I found it very hard to suspend my disbelief.

Johnny Depp was fabulous, over acting the role to a T, Geoffrey Rush obviously had a marvelous time playing Barabrosa and he was great too. Some of Britain's finest actors were on the screen. Keira Knightly and Orlando Bloom were in it too.

Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom - there was absolutely no sexual chemistry between them, These two leads were callow, uninteresting ciphers, Keira Knightley can act, I think, but she didn't really get a chance in this film. Orlando Bloom however, oh dear he has no presence what so ever. He was a black hole in the film where it needed a romantic hero.

There were some good one liners and script was witty in places but the plot had more holes in it than a cheap good time girls fishnets.

Next Week: Orson Wells - Does he have a career?