The Presents Have Landed

This morning the gift lift stuff arrived, well most of it did there is still some on order; being made as you read this by underpaid Vietnamese boat people in the heart of darkest Derbyshire no doubt*. We actually didn't have too much difficulty fitting the new stuff into our wee house, there is a home for just about everything but the bread maker which will get opened when we are both a little thinner. The paella dish posed a bit of problem, I'm certain it wasn't that big in the shop, I'm not sure whether I'm supposed to cook rice in it or sail down the Ouse in it so that I can catch the ingredients. Our new plates and bowls are lovely it's the first time either of us have owned proper expensive crockery and there is a real difference in feel, heft and quality of finish.

We've tried out the coffee machine and the coffee bean grinder: several times in the case of some people. Simon was gently shaking his way down the length of one of the sofas earlier on but the elephant tranquilliser dart* has helped put a stop to that.

Must go now I think the effects of the dart are wearing off.

*Possibly, I may have exaggerated a little bit.

W-Day minus 2

And now...

The marathon wedding blog(s)

This mostly for me, I'm doing it mostly because I want to have words written somewhere to spark my memories.

I'm going to start at Thursday...

I had originally planned to take Thursday off so that I had a couple of days to sort things out for the big day but due to the car breaking down the week before I was beginning to run out of leave so I went in to work that morning, 25 October 2007.

It was a mistake, for the last few weeks neither Simon or I had been sleeping properly nerves, worries about the wedding organisation and just general excitedness had left the both of us very tired. I wasn't very much use when I got in, I felt exhausted. The office had decorated my desk and done their worst with clip art to let everyone in the building know I was getting married. But I didn't feel happy, I couldn't properly appreciate the effort that they had gone to as I just wanted to curl up into a ball under the desk and sleep.

They did a presentation for me, the boss told everyone that we had met through the internets blogs, as an aside he said that he had been trying to find Si's blog but hadn't succeeded! That gave me a moment of sheer blind panic but Ady said that it didn't show.

A little while later when trooped back in the office, Simon rang me to see how I was doing on my last day at work as a single woman... I cried down the phone at him. It wasn't that I was upset about getting married, it was exhaustion and temporary misery due to lack of sleep. By the time Si had cheered me up and my colleagues had decided that it was safe to come back to my end of the office I had come to my senses and took the rest of the day off.

I don't really remember the rest of day I'm pretty sure I spent a lot of the afternoon napping and the evening tidying and planning what we would be doing on the Friday.

Thank You

We've arrived at Madrid Airport and have a bit of time waiting for our connecting flight on to the Canaries. So I'm gonna take the chance to beat Simon to the first post marital blog entry ;-)

As Simon is hanging over my shoulder desperate for me to get on with it, so that he can blog, I'd just like to say thank you to everyone for their best wishes and kind thoughts. Photos and a tedious minute by minute breakdown of the day will come later, once I've got a couple of beers into my husband and he doesn't care that he's paying for the internets time on his card anymore.

That's It

If I haven't don't it now or remembered to do it, it won't happen for tomorrow. There are flowers in the sink, packets of tissues by the gross, presents all around and I've just deprincessed the house.

We're done.

I can start enjoying myself now.

Pink Mist

It really is dark when I set off in the morning now, it won't be long until I have to scrape the frost off the windows so far I've been lucky but I'm sure that won't last long after we get back. The upside of these pre dawn starts is that I get to see the sun rise over the fens and it is beautiful. The dawn light catches the early morning mists turning them and the surrounding countryside various shades of pink. As the days get shorter this pink treat is retreating westwards, today it was March tomorrow it will be the road to Chatteris.

There must be an important trial going on in Norwich because for the past few weeks I've past on my way to work a convoy going eastwards of 4 police cars and typical prisoner transporter, white boxy vehicle with high up blacked out windows - they must be hellish for the travel sick claustrophobic criminal. Simon's boss has seen the same convoy, on his stretch of the A47, heading towards Swaffham.

One of the hints and tips that a bride is supposed to take notice of, is making sure that your hands look beautiful on the day. I'm a bit stuffed here - I've got a big scab (relatively) on the back of my left hand as I managed to scrape some of the skin off when I was ferreting about in my briefcase for my passport on my way to Sweden last week. Half my fingernails have broken or split, I've got paper cuts and a scar on my middle finger. I think the joys of photoshop may have to come to my aid.

On Getting Back

I was tired after my flight back from Sweden. Being vibrated for hours on end is not conducive to rest or well being. Yesterday I had to leave work early in order to pick up my new contact lenses, I have switched to soft lenses after almost two decades using gas permeables. The lenses are far more comfortable to wear but a palaver to put in and remove seeing as they are the size of small pudding bowls. I building up my tolerance so I should be up to full wearing by the wedding.

I went to Cambridge today to pick up the dresses - mine and Anne's. They are hanging up in white dress bags in the living room now. I am so tempted to show Simon but the groom not seeing the dress until the day of the wedding is one frippery I want adhere to.

This afternoon Si and I went into Lynn, we had an al fresco lunch by the river then, fortified by baked potatoes and beans we headed into the town to do the hard shopping for next Saturday. M&S, Monsoon, Woolworths were all gone through like hot knives through treacle. There were some lovely skirts and tops in the Per Una range that had to be admired. Monsoon was a cavern of jewelled coloured dresses and accessories which was very distracting and Woolworths a confusing mess of cheapness. But we got what we wanted.



We are now in the final throws - this is our last week of being separate, we can now say "this time next week we'll be married" etc. I'm often asked if I'm nervous: about getting married - no. About the wedding and its organisation yep I'm worried that it all won't pull together, I think I'll relax properly when it's Friday night and the shops are shut, it will be like Christmas eve - finally too late to worry about anything. You should not get too concerned for me though, I'm pretty sure we've sorted out almost everything and if we've not thought of something now it can't be too important.

Been Busy

On Saturday we went to Norwich, we did our bit for Norwich's economy well, John Lewis's, getting the last of Simon's outfit for the day and other sundries. We were on our way to Castle Mall when we spotted a Charity shop - The Big C that had a bridal boutique upstairs.

It was a treasure trove I got myself a tiara £6.50, we had a look around, of course a charity shop's stock is always changing, they had some great stuff amongst perhaps the slightly tired and worn. Retro wedding dresses mostly from the 60s 70s and 80s but they even had one that dated back to 1947, it was stunning, in ivory satin with shoulder pads and a bias cut. Definitely worth a look for anyone looking for clothes for a wedding.

And then today we made chutney, rather like Dan we had a bit of a surfeit of produce but unlike Dan we didn't grow it ourselves rather Simon's granddad donated it to us either from his garden or from when he went scrumping in Sandringham. I prepared the spices first, I had to make the quatre épice then spoon out the right amount for the chutney (the rest is in the fridge awaiting the next casserole). The smell of cloves, light brown sugar, ground ginger, raisins and nutmeg was Christmas cooking. We had to start out in two pans as I underestimated the volume occupied by the uncooked ingredients but we got down to one in the end.

We bought jars especially for the chutney yesterday, there was more than enough of the mixture to fill all three jars.


We zizzed up what was left over in the blender to make our very own special brown sauce and boy is it smashing! Very smashing indeed.

Music

It's not a matter of whether I will cry at the wedding, I think it is more in the area of do bears shit in woods, no the question is how much? A slight moistening of the eye or the full inconsolable, mascara ruining howl. I am very susceptible to emotion, it's a family trait; my cousin when a little girl could be made to cry by just saying to her "poor Kate" and she would howl. Simon has chosen a track for the ceremony that makes me cry every time, it moves me inordinately, but I've been trying to inoculate myself to it by playing the track on my ipod on the way to and from work, so far it hasn't worked, we do have time for exposure to take effect however if we sign the register to "The Sun Has Got His Hat On" you'll know why.

The dresses have arrived from the States, so Anne and I went for the first fitting today (well only fitting for Anne because she is learning the finer arts of oasis manipulation down Hampshire way at the moment and won't be able to get away again until the wedding) We managed to get matching pashminas, make up tips for the wedding, make up for the wedding, other stuff but no shoes for Anne.

I is knackered.

We were up til past two, just putting the world to rights over a glass of wine and catching each other up with the gossip followed by a full day walking around Cambridge has left me as tired as a day splashing about by the seaside. Cambridge would be a great city if it wasn't for the tourists, they stand around like gormless massive pigeons, blocking the pavement and generally not adding much to the ambiance. February is the best time to visit Cambridge, it's generally wet, cold, grey, windy and miserable, but the number of tourists is about its lowest. You can get to the shops, the arts cinema, the market and where you want to be without gaggles of gormless tourists mis-identifying buildings. York is also best in the miserable months for the same reasons.

Simon joined us in Cambridge as there was an Apple shop event going on today and he wanted to be part of the zeitgeist. Which was nice.

Too Many Courses

I think Simon and I may have been on too many courses in our careers because brainstorming* what needs to be done for our wedding onto post it notes, then organising them into some sort of order, came far too easily to the both of us.



What really worried me though was that as I was arranging the post it notes, it stuck me that what we really needed was a Gantt Chart and a copy of MS project.

*And yes you can say brainstorming it's an urban myth that the phrase has been banned

Priorities

I've decided that wedding magazines are evil, they propagate the myth that the bride can have everything just so and it is your right, nay almost your solemn duty to insist on having it all your own way.

The groom is almost treated like some form of Ken doll, his only purpose is to propose and be dressed up on the day as the bride wants. Often ending up looking like a butler from a dodgy am dram production of an Agatha Christie play.

It's all arrant nonsense designed to force up the costs and create guilt, envy, misery and consumerist lust in brides. It's rubbish because even if you are rich beyond the dreams of whatsit it's not possible to get everything your own way nor is it sensible to try. You have to compromise over the fripperies and try to meet in the middle over the menus because otherwise you'll go mad trying to achieve the impossible and lets face it' the chances are, your undiluted taste is probably a little shit, it requires the input of others to stop you making an utter tit of yourself. Blaxplotation themed wedding when you are a pasty faced ginger anyone? (Although I did think that a "Sound Of Music" theme had merit, but I was cruelly ignored ;-) )

The magazines tell you that it's all about you the bride, and it's not because if it was all about you then it would be a party to celebrate that Ms A. N. Other has got the chance to dress up the way her inner 6 year old would have wanted her to do (see above about taste) and get loads of presents at the same time (something else that's popular with 6 year olds).

But presents and parties are not the raison d'etre, they are just fripperies I'm not saying that Si and I haven't drunk some of the wedding kool aid, I've got a new frock and shoes, Si's got the shoes and getting the suit, We are going to throw a party and we hope that our guests will throw confetti however I hope we are doing these things because really want to not because of some subconscious urge to conform. They are all just extras though, they don't really matter. The only bit that does really matter also happens to be about the cheapest at £43.50 and that's the wedding, it doesn't matter what we wear, we don't actually need rings what does matter is that we love each other, have belief in our relationship and that we want to make that public and legal commitment to each other by getting wed.

OB - Outside Blogging

I'm at my brother's on the patio watching him subdue the bar-b-cue into submission. So far it's Little Brother 1 BBQ 0. Due to the power of the wireless network I'm blogging outside. Which is nice.

Our excuse for visiting was to find a bridesmaid dress for my niece. That happened yesterday, we went into Winchester then Southampton, my niece seems to have inherited my love of glitz and tack - she kept homing in on the sparkly, animal print materials. A sight to make any aunt feel proud, I'm sure you would agree.

On the way there we played the game think of a name that begins with the first letter of the number plate on the next car that goes by. It's harder than you think especially after the third car goes by with a X plate. Y isn't much better.

Today we went for a walk in the woods and hunter gathered charcoal at the local supermarket. Not exciting exactly but very very relaxing

Monkey

First off, the dress hunting trip on Saturday was quite successful. Dresses were tracked, captured and tried on as were tiaras and, because you have too, veils in BHS - I looked more like I was going for my first holy communion than a bride :-/ We also tried on half the hats and fascinators in John Lewis's for the fun of it as neither of us will be wearing hats. Try to imagine a montage of dress flicking, jewellery ooohing and general, thirty-something bonding but in a non Bridget Jones way (God I hate that book) if it was a 1950s Musical film it would have choreographed by Gene Kelly and stared Audry Hepburn as Me and Grace Kelly as Anne.

Fast forwarding to the present. I'm not well, again, I'm fed up with this. I went into work feeling fine came over all funny within five minutes of getting into the office half an hour later I was on my way home. Simon took the day off work to look after me armed with provisions and a present to make me feel better, he says it cost him loads but he keeps changing channels whenever this ad comes on.

Gothicly

Gothicly, originally uploaded by Jane Goth.

Anne and I are stood at the train station on our way to Peterborough to look for wedding dresses. Anne is going to protect me from the scary wedding dress shop ladies they are fearsome and they don't take no for an answer.

Linkage 13 January 07

Found this on an American Christian Blog surprisingly enough, OK it's a fairly irreligious blog but still, Star Wars Death Star Explosion Aftermath: That difficult phone call.

Wedding plans are going a pace, it is surprising how much we have to organise in advance, over the last few days we have been mostly considering DJs for the evening do. I've been very disappointed looking at various dj websites in how the last thing they seem to consider is the music that they play, it's all "party atmosphere" and "something for the Mums and Dads" - sounds ghastly to me. There have been very few exceptions This chap DJ78 sounds marvellous, not only does he have a great USP, from his my space it's obvious that he cares about music. That is what I want from my DJ.

Finally as seen on the estimable Rockmother's Blog. Her podcasts are come highly recommended as well, Jimmy Pursey of Sham 69 doing Avant Garde Dance.

Hey I've Had An Idea

I'm Blogging This, originally uploaded by Siobhan Curran.

I'm think I want to see if I can have this embroidered either onto the train of my wedding dress or onto the bodice.

Thanks must be given to Siobhan for thinking up of the concept.

Not Obsessed

I am not obsessed by weddings!

OK they are something I have thought about in an idle moment over the last 34 years or so but not really even a day dream. There have been long periods in my life when I thought that I would never arrive at the circumstances where marriage was a possibility so even when I did think about it, it wasn't with napkin colour and designs in mind. So now that I am going to get married we've got a lot to decide and think about.

I want to be married to Simon and soonish, I know what is important to me - stating in front of our families and friends that I love Simon so much that I want to spend the rest of my life with him and because it is something that we believe in I want to enter into the marriage contract with him. That is all that really matters the rest is "just fluff"™ However deciding which bits of fluff we want to discard and which bits we want to keep or invent new for ourselves, needs thinking about so I bought a couple of "Wedding" magazines for "inspiration".

They are bloody awful.

Materialistic, obsessed on the trivial ephemera that surrounds weddings, they seem to have an agenda to tell brides that their weddings will be pitiful thin things that no one will have enjoyed or remembered unless a lot of money has been spent on pointless shite . Some are awfully icky - referring to the future groom as "h2b" yuck :-s.

I suppose I was being naive to expect these magazines not to champion the old wedding clichés but I was very disappointed at how light they were on useful information. Personally I don't think just saying you must wear waterproof mascara is good enough, tell us which one is best and prove it. All in all I haven't been inspired just depressed at all the crap that seems to surround getting married.

It's cold outside

First off, thank you all for your congratulations and best wishes, it's quite overwhelming. I don't think that it has properly settled in yet, I keep looking at my finger and thinking wow "I'm getting married" There will be a lot to sort out, most importantly we have to identify what we really need to do and what is just fluff, Si and I are going to workshop this shortly in the new year. Si's done PRINCE II and I've been at enough bloody "kick off" meetings to be very familiar with most of the brain storming techniques, I've put in an order for a gross of post it notes and a tree's worth of flip chart, I'm going to go to Staples to get the marker pens then I'm gonna sniff them, cos they smell nice.

I promise that I will try to avoid being a wedding bore, but I am reserving to blog anything funny, outrageous, bizarre or "come-the-revolutiony."

Return To Normal Service

I've been feeling a bit of an unwell bunny recently, very sore and tender throat on the left side, jaw ache and ear ache, probably a virus but... it's been going on for a wee while now and it's effecting my sleep and it hurts to lie down.

So I go to the doctor's and get told either it's a virus andthere'salotofitabout or I've managed to scratch my throat eating fish or something. Now I'm quite prepared to accept that I don't need an antibiotic as they won't do any good when the doc says that s/he thinks it's a virus and I agree with the idea that sometimes warmth and plenty of fluids are the best thing but I was told in such a peremptory way. I left the surgery feeling that I had completely missed out on the magical "Seeing The Doctor Will Make It Start Getting Better" effect that I normally get when I've been to see them before in situations like this.

What didn't help was that the sodding bus didn't turn up, I was there, at the bus stop, with about 5 minutes to spare, 45 minutes later I was still at the bus stop, slowly freezing and getting crosser and crosser.

Grrrr.

The bus company is so bloody useless