Gone Now

My brief moment of glory is now over. It was fun while it lasted ;-)

We are still Oop North, today we went to Robin Hood's Bay via the North Yorkshire Moors and Whitby Bay, I lived in Yorkshire for 15 odd years during the 80's and 90's but this was the first time I had visited either. By 'eck Robin Hood's Bay is hilly and boy is the hill steep. Once upon a time that hill would have been a breeze as I used to live in Sheffield and the hill all go up there. Now after having lived in the nesh South for a few years I was winded just thinking about walking up the hill.

I will upload photos when we get back.

BBC2

Have quoted me! *swoon*

Still Here

Comet

As is patently obvious, the Earth was not hit by a comet, there was not grand conspiracy by the UN, or the EU, or the Russian Mafia or even Elvis to keep "The Truth"™ hidden from "The People"™ because it was the figment of someones dodgy astronomical skills.

The forum has disappeared as Joanna discovered, hopefully those who believed him haven't done anything too rash and will learn from this bit of foolishness but somehow I doubt it.

Bank Holiday

Got the day off today which is nice and with the bank holiday on Monday it makes for a long weekend. Becky came over to mine last night and I went back with her to Lynn this morning, she is currently slaving over a hot computer at work while I'm listening to the radio and drinking coffee. Tomorrow we go oop North to visit friends so expect pictures of the Humber Bridge in the near future.

Hope you all have a nice Bank Holiday if you are in Britain and if you are not - well have a nice weekend.

It's The End Of The World As We Know It

Yet another doomsayer is forecasting doom and destruction for Thursday 25th May. I hope not cos I've got Friday off, it's also the late May bank holiday and Si and I are going oop north to visit friends in East Yorkshire.

This time we are all supposed to die because a fragment of comet Schwassman-Wachmann is supposed to hit the Atlantic. Why haven't we heard of this before? Why no grave interviews with Heather Cooper and Sir Patrick Moore or indeed my old Astronomy lecturer David Hughes? Well it's complete guff for one thing, being peddled by a former military air traffic controller called Eric Julien - for a precis of his claims this is highly enjoyable and if you want to see him make a fool of himself in his own words then I recommend his site. I particularly like the way that they cite crop circles and premonitions as if they are almost hard evidence.

For why it's not going to happen I recommend Bad Astronomy an oasis of rational thought and cool science blog.

But let me leave you with one of the comments from the blog - possibly, in my humble opinion one of the best comments ever.

Evolving Squid says:

I wonder if the doomsayers realize that although the odds of actually being struck by a comet piece are small, the odds of being struck by a comet piece while naked but for a tinfoil hat, with one'’s entire body smeared in vegemite and marmalade, and with an extension cord up one'’s rear end, in the shower while listening to the “"Blue Danube”" waltz and dancing the macarena in front of a live web cam are vanishingly small.

Thus, in order to ensure their survival, they should do all those things.

May 21, 2006 @ 10:19 pm

Podcast

I'm listening to Mark Kermode's film review podcast from 19th May, it's worth downloading if only for the rant he goes into about people emailing him whenever he complains about movies based on computer games (no plot, no point that sort of thing). Of course being a British programme the films and DVDs he is reviewing will have been out for a while in the States. It is essential for the British film lover though and Mark is a lively knowledgeable opinionated reviewer so I believe probably fun for all.

Talking about movies based on computer games there could well be a War of Worldcraft movie. Hmmm could be interesting or it could be a pile of sub LOTRs poo.

Link to Mark Kermode Podcasts

Oh Lordi, Lordie Lordie

What is the Finnish for "Oh Fuck" because I bet that is what producers at Finnish state TV are saying right now!

Congratulations to Lordi, they really deserve to win it. Commiserations to the Germans I thought that their entry was really nice.

The Greeks brought it in on time and no doubt within budget well done them too!

List O Links type thingy III

When I saw this in the Guardian this morning my main thought was it's a bit cold in Darlington to be carrying on all this Gor nonsense. I'm sure I remember reading somewhere that the "slaves" within Gorean society spend most of their time in the nude, apart from the collar and leash of course.

Also in the Guardian today is Peter Bradshaw's reveiw of The Da Vinci Code it made me laugh out loud and get stared at in the office. I haven't read the book and I have no intention of seeing the film now I feel that I am likely to miss out on anything at all, the review is enough.

The US Senate voted for English to be the offical language of the USA this reminds me very much of when I studied American History. Throughout the post 1776 history of the USA there has been a belief that "The country is full up now, can't let anymore in" held by certain sections of their society and like Britian these cries become more vocal when the potential new Americans are not the same colour or do not speak the same language or are not co-religionists as the majority. Right now these beliefs are at the top of the agenda again it's all a bit 19th Century on Capitol Hill at the moment. The Statue of Liberty was completed in 1886 at its base is the famous poem by Emma Lazarus, you know the one that says

"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
with silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore,
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

Even as the Statue was being raised the American government was passing law after law that tried to stop immigration by different groups, the Chinese for instance. If I could remember more of my American history I could draw more parallels. This is part of the anti-hispanic immigrant stance being taken by both Senate and Congress at the moment but not by George W Bush who is trying to stop them from passing laws which would criminalise all illegal immigrants and seek to chuck them out no questions asked. It is perhaps the first time and probably the last that I find myself in agreement with him. BBC article that explains it a bit more elequently than I here.

The Line Of Beauty (The Shallow Review)

Caught some of The Line of Beauty last night, after the football natch. The gay sex scene we saw was very tastefully done, I thought enough was seen to dispel any doubts as to what was going on, but we didn't actually see anything really.

As I've not seen it all I can't comment on plot, adaptation, acting except to say I didn't find it emotionally engaging, (probably cos I hadn't been in from the beginning) until the bit just at the end when our hero, Nick, is dumped by his boyfriend Leo, that was beautifully acted and engaging.

I found the depiction of all those unrepentant repellent Tories rather uncomfortable to watch too I was fighting back the urge to make signs casting away the evil eye at the telly.

But as I said in the title this review is in the shallow ends and what really stuck out for me was the fashion and a couple of miss hits.

Those patterned tights that Hayley Atwell as Catherine was wearing. I had forgotten about tights like that but last night it all came flooding back, I had a pair, they were very expensive for what they were, uncomfortable to wear and went with nothing in my wardrobe.

Eyebrows - the 80s was the decade that didn't molest the eyebrow, almost everyone went about with brows that were more beetling than arched*. The actresses are all sporting very Noughties brows.

Make up - Ok in 1983 I was a young teenager, reading Smash Hits as if my life depended on it, rather than a depressive, self harming Sloane, but I do remember that make up was worn much heavier than it is now. It was the decade that thought that you couldn't have too much and that applied to blusher as well.

Floella Benjamin - She looks stunning doesn't look a day older than she did when she was presenting Playaway and Play School. Both Si and I kept saying "That's Floella Benjamin, that is" "Where's Big Ted and Hamble?"



*Except me, my eyebrows are naturally this shape.

Speechless

I am gobsmacked at how awful the British entry is for this years Eurovision song contest.

I'm putting it down to a few things

The BBC really really don't want to risk wining the competition - feasible Eurovision is deeply naff and very expensive to host.

Recently the British entries have not done well, it has been alleged that this has been due to the lack of support in Europe to the war in Iraq. The BBC are seeking to spare Blair's blushes by entering such a piss awful entry no one can blame us getting "nul points" on Iraq. Not so feasible as I believe the reason those entries did so badly was not related to the Iraq war but more to the general lack of ability surrounding them.

Someone has gone through the door marked irony into the room called totally
clueless. Not my favourite but more than possible

No self respecting composer will touch it now therefore we are left with the idiot dross and this was "shudder" the best of a very bad lot. My favourite right now

Eurovision does not have the "it's so naff it's good" vibe about it, it's just bad. Terry Wogan has lost the plot, instead of being lightly mocking he is taking it too seriously and has gone a bit middle englander about it (ok aka xenophobic.)

For all that I love Eurovision, I love the big gowns ,the ludicrous links, the achingly poor jokes, but there hasn't been a decent contestant since Dana International, there hasn't been a decent song since Bucks Fizz. I love the way that since we've gone to audience voting Germany sure as eggs is eggs give 12 points to Turkey, well what do you expect? If you want to make money out it then accept that cliques will seek to block vote.

Get rid of Wogan, as I've said he's lost the plot, he doesn't have any feel for the music and takes it far too seriously. Of course near neighbours are going to vote for each other, there is fellow feeling. Give it to a younger man, a man with his own hair like for instance Jonathan Ross. A real dare devil would get Colin and Edith to commentate on Eurovision but perhaps that is too radical.

Well perhaps I wasn't speechless after all. I just couldn't find the words to describe how awful the British entry is.

splishy splashy

My Mum's Birthday today

Bono

It's not just me, is it?

Bono does look a bit of a tit in those purple perpex-y glasses.

It Had To Happen Sometime

Becky took this rather nice photo of me before we went to TX. It is rather nice even if I do have the strap showing, oops, Connie and Miss Cyanne said nice things, which was very kind.

Then

welakawombat says:

You look SO much like my wife!

Controlled Burn says:

Ron this is SO not a guy! She could be my sister! Very very stunning if I do say so myself *seeing as she looks like me:-)*

It amused Becky inordinately, *humpfh*

Squish

Bought some squash today. Wow! I can hear you cry, how can I lead such an exciting existence Jane? Please tell me. It's hard you know I don't think you're ready for it yet. Are you emotionally ready to choose a new cooker? Well, other than being able to deal out a bit of sarcasm and not being made to write lines for it, one of the many small pleasures of being an adult for me is being able to buy the nice tasting squashes, you know the ones that have actually seen an orange, or a blackberry, or a "summer fruit." The ones that say, expensive and possibly bad for your teeth.

When I was a child, we didn't have those exciting possibly fruit derived squashes oh no we had the "own label" ones. They were the mad bad inventions of mad bad people in labs somewhere, who had never ever seen or tasted an orange or any other fruit that could be made into a soft drink for children not they, which explains why the drinks they produced bore such little relationship to the fruit whose names they sullied.

Bright orange in the container (even if they were supposed to be lemon) once diluted to homeopathic concentrations by my mum they were the palest, most translucent of tangerines. They tasted of nothing else as well, not like oranges or lemons or even water, they tasted, well weird, sort of chemically and chalky with nasty after taste.

And another thing which really riled me, my Mum seemed to always ignore the ads on telly for the nice juices like Kia Ora or Robinson's. It was always a treat when we went to my Grandmother's she had real orange squash, made so strong my little brother and I would have been climbing the walls with over excitement if we had had e number related hyperactivity in the 70s. That was real orange juice I'm telling you.

All this came flooding back to me this morning as I was stood in Waitrose with Simon trying to choose a squash, they were all there "hi" juices lined up promising delights, the organic préssés (you pay extra for the accents above the é's you know) of elderflower, berries, rose hip. And then there were the own labels, lemon, orange, summer fruits, exotic fruits, sugar free and e number innocent. I could buy anything I liked...

I don't dilute it as much as my mum did, alright!

Road To Wemberley Wembley Cardiff

The FA Cup final is on today Liverpool versus West Ham, Liverpool are favourites, I don't really care, I'm neutral the Owls were knocked out very early on.

Kick Off is at 3pm the Beeb are going through that annual ritual - "The Road To Wembley" cept it the Millennium Stadium Cardiff as Wembley is still not finished.

We've had "How They Got There", "Great Teams Of The Past", "Early Arrival Of The Fans" now they are doing "Celebrity Fans" West Ham are winning this one in the credibility stakes with professional Bloke Billy Bragg and Phil Jupitus. Professional Scouser and unfunny git Bloody Jimmy Tarbuck has been rolled out as the Liverpool fan.

Once upon a time we would have had both ITV and the BBC doing this, this was in the days of having only 3 then 4 channels so there was a real battle to attract viewers to your channel before the match started.

They've just introduced the panel, oh no - Alan Shearer, possibly the most boring man in football this does not bode well to world cup coverage now I am looking forward to that.

Anyways I've got to go check on the patient so let me leave you in the hands of Betty who is putting forward an eloquent argument for why you should be supporting West Ham.

Should Be Packed

And on the road by now on our way to Liverpool for a weekend of fun, frivolity and mild excess. But we are not, instead I am tending a poorly Simon, he managed to make it as far as mine yesterday evening but almost immediately went to bed looking very pasty.

He has improved a lot but, and this is a sign of how poorly he was, he wasn't well enough to look at his emails until about 3:30 this afternoon. :-o

Things That Make You Go "WTF"

Have a quick look at this Qwghlm that had my jaw dropping and no mistake. I'm busy doing stuff at the mo, so that's it for now.

Edit

Also found this thanks to Daily Mail Watch's forum

BNP Leader's Gay Arty Farty Film

Priceless

Getting Excited Now

Have you seen this! There is a Poster, a cut out and keep sticker book and 6, yes 6 (I counted them all) free stickers. It's making me giddy with anticipation I'm not sure that I can wait til Saturday for Doctor Who.

Of course there are some nay sayers who contend that the new style cybermen are not scary! Pah what do they know?

As I said, can't wait.

Medical Yorkshire

Very useful document if you have to enquire after the health of colleagues or family who are from Yorkshire or have resided in that magnificent county for several years.

Glossary of Yorkshire Medical Terms

"Major's Folly"

"Major's Folly"
Originally uploaded by Jane Goth.

Nearish to where I live is a 4 lane motorway. It runs between Peterborough and about Huntingdon.

It's great, really it's great, it got rid of the Norman Cross roundabout which was a major holdup on the A1.

But it is also very pointless, the traffic levels don't justify it and at each end of the 4 lane stretch the road narrows back down to 2 lanes and stays that way until Yorkshire going north or until you hit the M25 going south.

So why was it built?

Well it was commissioned when John Major was Prime Minister and it runs through part of what was his constituency.

In post Napoleonic war times laying cobble roads was the job creation scheme.

Jeremy Hardy

Si and I went to see Jeremy Hardy last night at the King's Lynn Art's Centre. It was very ver' good.

For those of you who don't know him (philistines and foreigners) he is a stand up comic, perrier award winner in 1988, frequent News Quiz and I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue contestant and lefty.

I always know that the News Quiz is is likely to be something special when he is taking part, he frequently goes off on one about something producing marvelous semi surreal rants round the subject of the question. If he doesn't have a rant during the New Quiz my mother automatically assumes that the powers that be have censored him!

Unfortunately superb comedian that he is, Jeremy Hardy is not the complete rounded entertainer - he can't sing for toffee. He is awful, thin reedy and only vaguely aware of the key. Which makes One Song To The Tune of Another or Pick Up Song both exquisite and unique listening experiences when Hardy is called to take part.

(as an aside I think C30 C60 C90 by Bow Wow Wow would be good for pick up song)

So it was with an air of anticipation and excitement that Si and I took our seats last night.

He started with a few obvious although funny Norfolk jokes. Had we elections this last Thursday? No? Obviously the franchise hadn't reached this part of East Anglia, and from there he was off, mostly on tangents but always coming to his eventual point.

It wasn't always laugh out loud funny, don't think it was meant to be, Jeremy Hardy isn't like that smug faced git Jimmy Carr or Jim Davidson, firing off one liners like a constipated elephant. He relies only on his story telling skills, a plain stage no props or music,. We were educated as well as entertained and Jeremy didn't stick to the obvious targets of Blair, Bush and Cameron he also took swipes at the smug left too.

Anyways he is next performing in Bournemouth. To the people of Bournemouth my message is simple, rise up, get a ticket and go see him. That, and don't go to that awful Weatherspoons in the centre of town.

Photo from the BBC website

Nurse, The Screens!

It's a beautiful out there, the sun is shining people are walking about in shirtsleeves, the trees have bright vibrant green leaves on them.

I'm going to Happy Hour this afternoon with a friend, there is a good chance we will sit outside in the beer garden with a jug of pimms so this timely advice from the Guardian "Burning Questions" was useful. It reminded me that my sunblock is in the bathroom cupboard, not on me, D'oh. I don't do sunbathing, it's boring and it's bad for you, I think since 1989 I've deliberately sat out in the sun on two occasions, both were when we went to Cuba on holiday and even then I had my trusty factor 25 in my hand and spent most of my time "shade bathing". I need the sun screen because I catch the bus to and from work, there is almost no shade at either bus stop and the buses are rarely on time. Fortunately my friend Anne who I'm going to happy hour with doesn't do sun bathing either so we Will both be happy sitting in the shade and drink our pimms.

Now that spring is here with avengence I need to buy some summer shoes, get some more linen trousers and of course more sun block. Guess what we are doing this weekend Becky!

Mish Mash Post

First off check out

this

on Miss K's blog go on, everyone, It is too cool for words.

Second off, I have given Becky my cold I do apologise she is not a well bunny but it should clear up by about... tomorrow.

Third off - Chance flickr photo journalism, I hit refresh and saw this. The March in New York for and by immigrant workers.

Home

Home now, the cat is under the bed, I'm looking after her because my mum is having a new kitchen floor laid and Mum doesn't want to have paw prints in the tile cement.

Sophie's bbq was a success no-one as far as I'm aware has got food poisoning and we are all still talking to each other. Sophie did her impression of the "youth of today"



Much alcohol was consumed, I don't remember taking this photo at all, in fact I'm fairly positive I didn't.



The evening ended with a push to Curzon's or the watching of Dr Who, I watched Dr Who, probably the more sensible option because was getting to the point where another drink would have been too many. As it was we woke up feeling a tad jaded but otherwise not too fuzzy.