That's not a novel, that's the scribblings of a retard

This afternoon mostly I've been loving The Mighty Boosh. Sophie got the DVD of the first series as a birthday present. Post barbecue recovery took the form of a bowl of coleslaw, ryvitas and the Boosh.

Greetings From Sunny Nottinghamshire

Simon and I are sitting in sunny well, partly cloudy Nottinghamshire this morning we had dinner last night with some friends of ours Rich and Julie which was really nice and very relaxing. We are going to Sophie's birthday barbecue in Derby this arvo. Now if I had been a bit more aware, perhaps I could have gone to this before the bbq. Would have been on my own though.

On Wednesday related matters saw this it made me laugh. They are called pigs because the red and white strips said to resemble streaky bacon.

Wensday

Can't think of a better title.

Found this when surfing this lunchtime: YouAreABert not much content yet, but hopefully he will carry on in the fine style he has started in.

Only thing is, what does he mean by "bert"? I looked at Urban Dictionary that didn't seem to clarify it nor were any of the websites that claimed to translate Northern Irish slang, although the Wiki entry did amuse me. I'm sure that I use half those phrases and it's not because I've read The Commitments or watched Father Ted, don't think they are exclusive to Ireland.

Siobhan? Stray Taoist? any ideas?

Good Bye Tom Baker Hello K9

Saw this in the Guardian on my way home from Lynn this morning. Tom Baker no longer to be the voice of BT Texts Simon reminded me that it was only a temporary appointment, but it seems a very short three months.

Really enjoyed this Saturday's episode, David Tennet is excellent as Dr Who. I didn't think the opening episode was as bad as it was painted, it was too busy though, with so many ideas in it that didn't get a full and proper exploration. Also science fiction it maybe but they need to watch that they don't rely on wildly bad science such as mixing all the intravenous antidotes together then spraying them on the zombies to cure them who then can pass that cure on, as a plot device.

It was so crap it hurt.

But we've got K9 next week and Anthony Head of Buffy fame can't wait.

New BBC website

A Glorious Day

Which positively demanded that we left the house for a bimble around King's Lynn, then we drove up past the Chemical Factory to almost the mouth of the Great Ouse to look at the nature reserve. Low on the horizon were flocks and flocks of birds returning to Britain after a winter of sunning themselves somewhere warmer and sunnier (and hopefully avian flu free).

Apart from a couple of light aircraft going overhead, the only noise was the the lapping of the river against the sand bank and the bird song around us.

After all that fresh air and excitement I now feel shattered so I am sat here watching Simon working wonders in the kitchen as he cooks our dinner for tonight. He's just donned the marigolds in order to chop the chillies. :-D

A little more nonsense from Eclectech

Yay, those wonderful people/person at Eclectech have been busy animating for our delight and delecation.

eclectech : daily mail picnic

Pirates of the Caribbean

We had a very nice Easter, thank you very much, Easter Lunch at my Mum's and a picnic in a windswept field on Easter Monday because we could.

I also got to watch the whole of Pirates of the Caribbean, a film that several of my friends and colleagues have quietly raved about since it came out in 2003.

I think they may have over-rated it, I was left distinctly unmoved. For one thing it was far too long, too many lengthy fight scenes and despite the best efforts of Johnny Depp and Co. it didn't sparkle.

Things niggled - using a bedwarmer and having a bedroom fire in the Caribbean - nonsense. We Brits are notoriously bad at Dealing With Heat™ . Also how could someone as thin as Keira Knightley haul dozens of heavy rum barrels from their underground hiding place within the time it takes for a drunken pirate to sleep it off and set them alight without any help? I found it very hard to suspend my disbelief.

Johnny Depp was fabulous, over acting the role to a T, Geoffrey Rush obviously had a marvelous time playing Barabrosa and he was great too. Some of Britain's finest actors were on the screen. Keira Knightly and Orlando Bloom were in it too.

Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom - there was absolutely no sexual chemistry between them, These two leads were callow, uninteresting ciphers, Keira Knightley can act, I think, but she didn't really get a chance in this film. Orlando Bloom however, oh dear he has no presence what so ever. He was a black hole in the film where it needed a romantic hero.

There were some good one liners and script was witty in places but the plot had more holes in it than a cheap good time girls fishnets.

Next Week: Orson Wells - Does he have a career?

Search, Searchy time things

Like any other self respecting blogger I love looking at my stats finding out how people found the blog

Someone from the BBC with "A letter from Mrs Trellis of North Wales" could it have been the famous Samatha herself?

Leaving Speech - been very popular this one. Best advice I can give, is keep it shortish, vaguely light hearted one or two amusing anecdotes, say something about their best achievements and how much you'll miss them and wish them all the best for the future. If you are the one leaving keep it short, vaguely amusing say how much you'll miss them all say thanks for the vase/clock/golf clubs and wish everyone the best for the future.

Stop Drooling Sleep - I have thanks since it ruined the keyboard.

Frankie and Benny's in Kings Lynn has proven to be a long term favourite as have searchers looking for "Becky's blog kings lynn" or my favourite "Sexy Blogger Kings Lynn" cos I was 2nd Becky was 3rd!

God - someone doing a search of blogs from Singapore, Singapore, Singapore as it's reported on my vistor tracker, so good they, erm named it 3 times.

Someone in Japan looking for "annette sniffs her boots and socks" oh dear lord no!

Less is More

I understand this idea but it does not apply to books right!

Fermilab

Oh my goodness, I got a visit from Fermilab, I feel like I've been touched by greatness, shame it was because they were just flicking through rather than because of any insights I might have on particle physics (none).

Lipstick

A piece of make-up puffery popped into my in box yesterday. The email from Maybelline New York caught my eye with their subject line "Jane, Get 16 hours of Luminous Color with New Superstay Lipcolor"

It then told me about the amazing "move-with-your-lips formula + ultra-conditioning balm holds it together for 16 incredible hours." I'm guessing if the hours are dull, the colour bogs off at about hour 10 to see if it can attach itself to someone more interesting.

Now I don't know about you but one of the problems I've never had with a lipstick is it cracking and not flexing with my lips. I checked with Becky and she's never had that "dontcha just hate it when you yawn and the lipstick stays in a big circle around your chops all day" feeling either.

In fact I'm willing to bet that for those of us who have worn lipstick, it has never been something we have worried about before. Keeping the ruddy stuff off our teeth, on our lips for longer than it takes to have a sip of G&T yes, but lumps of lipstick falling off - no.

There are some nice colours but I don't think I will be rushing out to buy.

Cosmetic companies work hard to invent new ways of getting us to buy more of their products, they tell us that we must bin anything older than six months for health reasons. However how many of us really do it that? I've got an eyeshadow trio set that I've been loving since 1998.

They make wild extragent claims that "This mascara, yes this one! it's the one that will pull all the boys (or girls) round your house in a love lorne manner. Not that one! no it's rubbish even if we did tell you that it would give you your fullest lashes ever"

Fact is - really we could have capsule makeup bags if we put our minds to it and would look good 365 days a year, but that would be slightly dull, wouldn't it?

God is in the iTunes Party Shuffle

Freiya has found that "ipods, as well as being useful music holders, can also act as oracles of the future using the magic that is the 'shuffle' function."

I've got a 2gig nano which is currently stuffed full of gems from Nick Cave, The Fall, Johnny Cash and Leonard Cohen so I've used the party shuffle facility instead.

1. How does the world see you? Just can't get enough by Depeche Mode - ah that's nice

2. Will I have a happy life? 24 Hour Party People by the Happy Mondays, well that could well be a yes if I discount the subsequent hangovers. It's a Top Tune as well,

3. How do my friends see me? Let me see, Fuck the People by the The Kills, oh.. Now either that means my friends secretly hate me or I secretly hate my friends or my friends think I am more than a bit weird

4. Do people secretly lust after me? Dizzy Miss Lizzy - The Beatles, that's a probably not.

5. How can I make myself happy? I Spy - Pulp. Ooh Err probably not the best idea people will think I'm a pervert or something. I went to Sheffield University, Pulp used to play at the Uni about once a term (this was before they became famous) I never saw them play, though I did manage to insult the lot of them by saying that their poster made them look bloody ugly in Bar One one evening and the whole of the band were sat in the next booth.

6. What should I do with my life? No Reply - The Buzzcocks. well that's helpful

7. Will I have children? Doctor Who Original Theme Delia Derbyshire. This is where it falls down! I've got this because I've got The Devil's Planet which features the music of my uncle by marriage Tristram Cary. I'm not a sad bunny honest.

8. What is some good advice for me? 24 Hours Joy Division - mmmm? 24 Hours what? Sleep? Partying? Joy Division are one of my favourites even if their songs are not a lot of laughs

9. How will I be remembered? The Creep Out - The Dandy Warhols. Hey Freiya I don't think I like this game anymore.

10. What is my signature Dance song? Cuddly Toy - The Monkees - don't think so somehow

11. What do I think my signature song is? The Power and The Glory - Spirtulized yep looks like I'm shaping up to be a crazed people hating wanna be megalomaniac

12. What does everyone else think my signature song is? It's a pity to say goodnight -Ella Fitzgerald. Bit of a party animal theme here

13. What song will play at my Funeral? One More Time - The Cure

14. What kind of men do I like? Sowing Seeds - The Jesus and Mary Chain (Fertile ones?!)

15. What will my day be like? - Send the Marines - Tom Lehrer. Erm busy I guess.

Well there you have it, a little bit woo a little bit wee, not entirely useful but a whole lotta fun.

Well It's Not As Bad As Agreeing With Norman Tebbit

But it still feels wrong when a "Leading Tory Figure" says something that I agree with, so blast you David Cameron for saying that UKIP was racist and it's members "fruitcakes, loonies and closet racists, mostly".

How dare you say something that I totally agree with!

Still not going to vote for yous though.

The Only Way Is Up - The A10 then the A11, M11, Mile End Road

Went to Transmission last night with Becky. We had a miniature Transpocalyse bloggers meet as Connie and Tracy, Jo, and Clarissa were there too and we all ended up round a table discussing the merits of various blog templates.

Walking past Smithfield market in the rain, at silly o'clock in the morning was different; we went for a burger at milkshake bar after we left the club, although it was an interesting experience to see London in its full vibrancy I don't think the burger was worth the walk.

We packed a camera but never used it, but in the grand tradition of tranny nights out (and I'm not going to let the fact that I am actually a woman stop me) here's a picture of me before we went out.

Flickr

Flickr is great, really great, a lovely website, easy to use, generous allowance for the non paying users and value for money if you pay for the add ons. However some of its users are bottom feeding slime who obviously get off on the idea of inviting people to look at their p0rn collection. Got such an invite today, urgh. I've marked as may offend, emailed Flickr to report him as a spamming p0rn merchant and blocked him.

I've been using flickr for about 10 months now which I know is not a massively long period of time but my perception is that the there were far fewer creeps using Flickr before Yahoo bought the company. With the purchase the creeps have transfered over. I would be interested in hearing whether I am alone in that view.